Becoming a widow…

Author Koh Lin ◦

I was engulfed by a wave of sadness when I came into work (after the weekend break). It had been a reasonable pleasant weekend for me, and although I knew the end was near, I was hoping that she was still there. So it was a bit of a shock to see she was gone… I did not expect it to happen so soon and so quick.

As soon as I look to where she normally hung out, I saw she was not there. And in that instance, I knew she had passed away. Such was the sudden sadness that came over me, I quickly snapped a photo and walked away. Usually I am good at taking reasonable photographs of her in her web, so when I looked back at the photo (without her in it), the photo was blurry… this was my last indelible memory.

Those warm summer days had passed, where it seems like we had hung out together forever, me with my camera and she in her web. I had witness her grow, and the suitors come and go, although in the final days, there appeared to be mainly one that she seem to tolerate, if not like, who was always around. But now the seasons were changing, I knew that most likely the cold of the approaching winter would end her life. Yes, I know that they have an expected lifespan of a year… but a little part of me was hoping she would live longer.

Every day of the week, month after month, I would come in and check her out. She would bring a smile to my face, and obligingly let me get close and snap away with my camera. Sometimes, she actually seemed to pose for me.

I always had a smile when I saw her over the last few months of her life. Watching her eating prey caught in her web and sometimes, she would happily share it with a particular male partner…

Even when she lost a couple of legs, she soldiered on, not missing a beat when something got caught in her web. But as the weather started to cool, I began to worry, with fewer insects around to stumble into her web, would she start to starve.

So, on a couple of occasions, I would toss an insect that I had caught into her web… I think she appreciated that, as she was quick for the grab, no matter the size.

And so it was… although I was preparing myself for the inevitable, the end still came as a bit of a shock. What was even more touching and sad, was to see the solitary male partner, sitting in the web where she normally sat. There he was, but she had gone. Did he know what had happened?

And then a couple of days later, he too was gone! 😢

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